Anyone who skied and grew up in the 80’s has watched Hot Dog – The Movie (probably more than once). How this movie never won an Oscar is beyond me, but I digress. One of the most famous lines in the movie and probably any ski movie is when Kendo leans into to Squirrel and says, “What is da f*%k is a Chinese Downhill”. For those of you who haven’t seen the movie, you should, a Chinese Downhill is first man to the bottom wins and the rules to this race, there are no rules.
Hot Dog - The Movie (1984) - Chinese Downhill…Kendo putting a drop kick on a competitor!
Magic Mountain, VT is bringing their own flavor to this epic event with a race called the Road to Ruin – Mad Dash Downhill. This is nothing like you would see on the World Cup. There are no gates, no blue lines marking the course, no water injected courses and probably no timing devices. Instead, this is a “balls to the wall” first the bottom wins. Although, something tells me that spiked pole baskets, helmet mounted smoke screens and spiked gloves will not be permitted.
While the course will not be launching off a cornice into an open bowl with people skiing through lodges, plate glass windows and through skiers eating on an outdoor deck, the course does consist of two double black diamond trails, Witch and Black Line. The race begins at the intersection of Witch and Redline. After plunging down Witch for xx feet you will be stomping on your left foot to make a hard right onto Black Line. Now make no mistake, Black Line isn’t as narrow and rocky as its big brother Black Magic, but it also isn’t a joke. There are a couple areas where you have the potential to take big air, which mean you have the potential of star fishing upon landing. You will continue to haul ass until the finish banner located at the intersection of Black Line and Hocus Pocus.
Besides becoming a legend, at least in your own mind, what do you win? The top three overall finishers take home cash, with the overall winner taking home a Grover Cleveland ($1000). If this sounds like an entertaining Saturday afternoon, hurry up and register, the race is limited to the first hundred entries. The entry fee is $40 and a discounted lift ticket of $40 will need to be purchased – total cost $80. Day of registration on February 2nd will be allowed if there is room at $50, but must be done by 10am. A Road to Ruin t-shirt is included for each competitor. Registration/bib pick up is from 9am to 11 am at the ticket office.
If you do enter this race at Magic, you may want to consider having the magic of Ullr on your side. Ullr (pronounced like ruler but without the r) is the mythical Norse God of Winter, who was unbeatable on skis, never losing a race. In fact, some believe the Aurora Borealis is the snow flying off the tail of his skis. Ullr is also known for protecting skiers from harm while in the mountains.
Lastly, if you do enter, I’d love to hear about your experience.